What's new
Sex Forum / Message Board

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Please consider using your 321SexChat chat room username, especially to gain VIP here.

Important! You will need to validate your email address to register and recover your password if you've forgotten it. Staff cannot assit with password recovery in any way. Please allow a short time for your email to arrive if it doesn't arrive immediately.

  • To find a room admin or the owner of a VIP room, you can click here to view the list. To add your VIP room to this list, contact ChatMaster.
  • Don't forget to check out our live chat rooms with many to choose from; 321SexChat.com/chat.php
    Our rooms are all free!

General Question

M

Misswildcard

New member
What in your opinion is the best way to vet a D/s dynamic to see if that Dom is a good fit. Ive been told -talking is the best- but through my experience people just say what they think you want to hear. Then when you try to hold them accountable the Dom gets mad and uses the fact Im submissive as a door to treat me poorly or be disrespectful. Im finding it hard to now open up to people who are interested in the dynamic with me. Im still new to this whole life style. So any advice would be happily appreciated. Thanks -Flower
 
Hello Flower. Thats a really good question and an important one too. You have to remember just because some one is a 'Dom', you are not their submissive until you allow it. You still hold as much power as they do. So before 'submitting' you need to make sure that the Dom you have chosen is the right one for you. There is absolutely no rush to jump into any dynamic until you are comfortable with your decisions. You also need to remember that even if you are in the dynamic and you feel you are treated in a different way that you expected or agreed upon, you can walk away at any point from the dynamic. A key question is: what do you look for in a Dom? There are definitely core items that I would say every Dom should have but even if the individual is a 'good' Dom, they still may not be the right fit for you. So to your of question of 'vetting', well the people you talked to are right, it really is getting to know the person, do they meet what youre looking for, are they trying to understand your needs? and this does take time. The right Dom will be patient and make sure youre comfortable and move at your pace.
Stop by our BDSM room, you will find experienced submissives that can share their experiences and help with questions too.
 
TheDon said:
Hello Flower. Thats a really good question and an important one too. You have to remember just because some one is a 'Dom', you are not their submissive until you allow it. You still hold as much power as they do. So before 'submitting' you need to make sure that the Dom you have chosen is the right one for you. There is absolutely no rush to jump into any dynamic until you are comfortable with your decisions. You also need to remember that even if you are in the dynamic and you feel you are treated in a different way that you expected or agreed upon, you can walk away at any point from the dynamic. A key question is: what do you look for in a Dom? There are definitely core items that I would say every Dom should have but even if the individual is a 'good' Dom, they still may not be the right fit for you. So to your of question of 'vetting', well the people you talked to are right, it really is getting to know the person, do they meet what youre looking for, are they trying to understand your needs? and this does take time. The right Dom will be patient and make sure youre comfortable and move at your pace.
Stop by our BDSM room, you will find experienced submissives that can share their experiences and help with questions too.
Click to expand...
Thanks Don ill stop by
 
Top