Kink & BDSM Chat

BDSM, Kink & Fetishes

is an acronym for Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Domination and Submission (D&S) and Sadism and Masochism (S&M). Within these titles are numerous sexual preferences, roles and fetishes which all fall under the umbrella term of Kink which simply refers to all "unusual" sexual behavior. Fetishes are sexual excitement brought about a specific "thing" such as an inanimate object, a scent, or a body type. Popular fetishes may include, feet, rope, latex, hair, shoes and wax.

Bondage and Discipline (B&D)

as the name would suggest is about restraining and punishing, an example is being handcuffed and spanked. The degree or severity to which this is practiced can vary from light playful spanks to hard spiked paddles.

Domination and Submission (D&S)

can, but does not need to be physical. You can dominate or submit to someone over the phone or computer. D&S revolves around power relationships where one person has control over the other. These roles are not set in stone and partners may choose to switch from time to time if they find joy or arousal on both sides. D&S is often linked with roleplay where power dynamics and be fully exercised such as in the relationship between a boss and worker, teacher and student or prisoner and guard.

Sadism and Masochism (S&M)

is the gratification from inflicting pain (Sadism) or receiving pain (Masochism), where the pain can be physical or emotional. A Sadist may harm, belittle or humiliate a Masochist who ultimately finds pleasure in being in such situations. B&D and D&S can be natural parts of S&M but as with all things people have preferences and these titles are not so much rules as shorthand for describing what brings a person pleasure.

BDSM Room Etiquette, Expectations & Traditions...

to better understand why we're doing the things we're doing.

321Chat's BDSM room is a safe place to teach, learn, and celebrate all things related to Domination, submission, and BDSM. It is also understood that the topic of conversation varies greatly and does not always include D/s or BDSM. BDSM topics are always encouraged, however. Polite debate and discussion of D/s topics should be the goal of the chat room.

While the following are not "rules" and by no means mandatory, we hope you will join us incelebrating some of our traditions and expectations.

• Respect the other chatters. We do not discriminate between those who participate in BDSM activities and those who do not. We also have a policy of YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is Okay). The only exceptions are violations of the site rules.
• Chatters are respectfully requested to register usernames and have a correct age listed in the profile.
• The well-known and trusted Dominants control the room and are responsible for the safety of the submissives; submissives should let the Dominants do so. This includes granting entrance and removing any unpleasant element in chat and play.
• The Dominants should, if an unwelcome element enters the chat room, encourage A/all to use the ignore button and peacefully encourage the chatter to leave. The submissives should let the Dominants handle the matter without assistance. Moderators are only present to enforce the site rules.
• Traditionally, a Capitalized name is a Dominant; a lowercase name is a submissive.
• A name with letters in brackets at the end indicates a collared or protected submissive, i.e., jane{D}, or a Dominant honoring a submissive with a symbol of the collar, i.e., Dan{j}.
• While we understand English grammar rules, traditionally, a Dominant is referred to with capitalized pronouns and honorifics as a courtesy, i.e., Her, You, They, Sir, Ma'am; a submissive is referred to with lowercase. This may translate into using phrases like “Y/you A/all”, meaning a collective of Dominants and submissives. Submissive or slave referral to self in third person is acceptable and may be considered a formality.
• submissives should ask permission to enter and leave the chat room. This is a reminder of their submission and also a gesture of respect to the Dominants. Dom/mes should grant entrance promptly and in a courteous manner. The Dominant(s) granting admission should be thanked by the submissive before greeting others.
• If a collared, protected, or otherwise claimed submissive misbehaves, punishment should be given by the Dominant he/she is protected by. If another Dominant has a complaint about a collared submissive, it should be given directly to that submissive's Dominant, privately. The room’s Dominants will manage punishment or discussion with unprotected submissives or other Dominants. Moderators will continue to enforce the website’s rules.
• Please ask to private message other members of the room.
• Unless the Dominant/Top involved in a public scene invites participation, do not jump into the scene through action, advice, or talking with the people in the scene. They are focused on each other and distractions are disruptive.
• While the BDSM Room does have food and drinks from John Norman’s Gor series, as well as a pile of furs for slaves, and Gorean serves and dances are welcome and appreciated, 321sexchat’s BDSM room is not a Gorean chat.
• Please do not post random porn photos, links, or music to the BDSM room. There are other rooms for that. We prefer our photos to be on theme and coincide with the topic being discussed at the moment.
• For ease of understanding, please spell out all of your words in chat.
• Politeness is required, respect is earned.

Special Thanks to The BDSM Garden and their members for their contributions to this page.

Introduction to BDSM

• A Loving Introduction to BDSM
• 25 Facts About BDSM That You Won’t Learn In “Fifty Shades Of Grey”
• BDSM Wiki.info: A comprehensive resource for those new to BDSM
• Make your sex life more adventurous right now.
• FetLife.Com: The facebook of BDSM

Living BDSM

• A day in the life of a 24/7 Submissive
• A Feminists First Encounter

The Darker Side Of BDSM

• Why I left the BDSM community
• Difference Between BDSM and Abuse