Recognizing Toxic Behavior & Gaslighting

[moira]

I was so blind to it, didn't even realize it was happening until I was already neck deep in it. The crazy part is, I blindly defended them, their actions, because why would someone who says they care about me ever treat me this way? I would never allow such behavior in my everyday life, but looking back, the signs were most definitely there. I was just one of their many victims, I wasn't special. It's the reason why I'm starting this thread today. It's not a witch hunt, but perhaps a way to educate one another. & for others who may be experiencing the same thing to know, you aren't the only one.

 

[SubbySubSub]

That last one really hit hard. I always have to provide evidence on why I'm doing what I'm doing. It's almost like I'm in a courtroom and I'm made to plead my case. Even in the simplest of matters.

Damn parents, man. They can really be a huge benefit or a completely terrible barricade.

Stay safe, my dudes. And go see a therapist god damn it.

 

[nyrielle emerald]

I’ve experienced gaslighting from many different people. Ex husband, friends, online connections, even a job.

Did I recognize it while in the midst of it? No! Did I have to garner the strength of a full community to help me? Yes. These people are master manipulators and it’s hard to recognize them right away. You are too far, too deep before you realize the toxicity.

The faster you can pull those ticks out of your skin, the better.

 

[HalloweenGirl]

I'm not going to lie. I used to be a toxic person. I'm not making excuses. But I didn't realize what I was doing. Being in therapy has helped me, and I've faced my demons head-on. I'm a better person for it, and it's a growing process. But not to brag on myself. I'm super proud of how far I have come.

 

[Data]

Been there, done that. Both ways. Nothing I'm proud of

 

[moira]

Growing as a fellow human, that's what it's all about by recognizing & learning from our mistakes. Lifting up those you care about rather than attempting to hold them down. & not in a fun way.

 

[SirWolf]

The internet enables people to connect with others and interact on social platforms or chat sites .. this is the playground for all kind of people who are manipulative or selfish .. most important is in any kind of uncomfortable situation to have the courage to walk away .. we can always leave the situation by logging off or leaving the scene or hanging up the phone. Every narcissist, controller or liar needs attention and an audience .. they starve if left alone. Showing a certain degree of arrogance or acting self-confident can put the narcissist and the controller in their place.

 

[SirWolf]

 

[Data]

Remember, in chat the ignore button is your best friend

 

[moira]

The internet enables people to connect with others and interact on social platforms or chat sites .. this is the playground for all kind of people who are manipulative or selfish .. most important is in any kind of uncomfortable situation to have the courage to walk away .. we can always leave the situation by logging off or leaving the scene or hanging up the phone. Every narcissist, controller or liar needs attention and an audience .. they starve if left alone. Showing a certain degree of arrogance or acting self-confident can put the narcissist and the controller in their place.

THIS. It's not easy to do. The silence you experience afterwards is almost deafening. But once you've had time to acclimate & detox the sludge from inside your body, you become aware of all the tentacles latched onto you that have been siphoning away at you for years. Never giving someone that sort of power over me ever again.

 

[SirWolf]

THIS. It's not easy to do. The silence you experience afterwards is almost deafening. But once you've had time to acclimate & detox the sludge from inside your body, you become aware of all the tentacles latched onto you that have been siphoning away at you for years. Never giving someone that sort of power over me ever again.

You are right .. in order to deal with gaslighting you need to emotionally distance yourself to the person. Gaslighting in a marriage can cause serious mental issues .. when the abusive partner didn’t change and a divorce is no option.
In a friendship we only have to ask ourselves if we need this friend .. or if our life will be better without this one friend.
People with negative influence only drag other people down .. never let this happen to you.
Improving self-confidence and developing a personality is most important in life.