Phone sex is a fun approach to spicing up your love life. Some do it when their partners are away from home, some do it as a form of foreplay, and some do it to add something new to their bedroom routines! For a perfect phone sex session, you must be relaxed, be free of any inhibitions about yourself, and anticipate being sexually aroused, regardless of how awkward it may start. A voice conversation is not the same as a text one, but the increase in cell phone use is part of the reason why our
sext chat is so popular.
Getting Ready
Schedule It
Like any sexual activity, phone sex can be spontaneous. However, your session can last longer and be more enjoyable if you’ve prepared for certain things in advance, particularly if this is the first time the two of you are doing this.
Schedule a time when you’re both able to cut loose. The phone sex session won’t work if you’re in bed while your partner is outside waiting for a bus.
If your partner is apprehensive about having phone sex or hasn’t tried it before, think about asking them to read this very article, or read it with them.
Remember that, prior to starting, you can always talk about what you would like to try during the phone sex session.
Get your mind right
It will be hard to have a good time if you feel nervous or embarrassed, so prior to your call, do what you must to feel sexy and comfortable.
Let yourself go
Stay in bed for a while, surf the web, drink some wine, do some push-ups, sing and dance in front of the mirror – do anything that releases tension from the body.
Get in the mood.
Creating an erotic environment can help get you in the right state of mind. Prepare yourself for phone sex as if you’re preparing to have actual intercourse. Consider the following ideas get you going
Clean up the area where you will be making the call.
Keep the lights dim, and if you like, light up some candles.
Turn on some music you both are into.
Take a shower or a bath. If you wish, perhaps even shave.
Fantasize about a specific scenario to make the call more erotic (the two of you being watched while making love, etc.).
Take off some clothes or put on your sexiest attire.
Bring out some sex toys.
Mildly touch your body or imagine your partner in situations that make you hot…just regulate how turned on you get – save yourself for the phone sex!
Having Phone Sex
Start the call
After your partner gets on the phone, set a pace you’re both comfortable in. There’s no single way to have phone sex.
If it makes you more at ease, take a few minutes to talk with your partner first. Be mindful not to venture too far from your erotic state of mind, though.
Heavy breathing or a soft, low tone of voice can establish the mood. However, don’t overdo it to the point where it sounds fake: breathing or talking with a regular tone will be more sensual than a forced attempt to sound sexy.
Bring up a casual subject that can transition into a sexy conversation
Beginning the phone sex session might be the most difficult aspect, particularly if you haven’t done it before. Select a subject that’s simple for you to introduce to the discussion, yet can segue into more erotic areas. For instance:
How much you wish your partner was there, or how much you miss them.
What you would do to them if they were there with you at that moment.
What you have on and how it makes you look.
What you're doing to yourself at that moment.
How you're feeling at that moment.
Make the conversation more naughty or flirtatious
After you get the ball rolling and you’re into the moment, get bolder with your details, or bring up other, more erotic subjects. One strategy is to describe these things to your partner (or ask your partner to describe these things to you):
What you're doing
Talk about how you look at the moment and how you’re touching yourself. Don’t hold back, this is the time to be as dirty as you want to be!
Request direction – for instance, “shall I begin taking off my bottoms?”
If they’re up for it, explain what you’d like them to do.
If you’re not comfortable touching yourself, don’t be discouraged – you can still inform your partner that you’re having a good time hearing them masturbate.
What you're thinking about
This may be comprised of what you’d like to be doing with your partner, or a memory the two of share about a past sexual encounter.
You may want to begin slowly: Start with mild descriptions, such as "initially, I’d run my fingers through your hair”, or “I’m way into how your chest looks when you’re soaking wet”. Then make your sentences bolder by saying things like “then I’d lick your neck”, or “I want you to do that thing to me in the shower again".
The explicitness of your phone sex’s content is your call, no pun intended.
What you're feeling like
Explain the emotional and physical feelings you’re going through because of what they’re saying to you and what you’re doing to yourself.
Moaning is an ideal approach to vocalizing your feelings at that time. That said, you should only moan genuinely – if you’re not comfortable moaning, don’t do it. Exhale first so you can moan subtly before gradually getting louder.
Inform your partner when they’ve talked about or done something that really turned you on. On that note, tell them when something makes you uncomfortable. This will establish borders during your phone sex, and help you isolate what you’re both enjoying the most.
Optional
Touch yourself and climax. Masturbating together and climaxing at the same time are outstanding bonuses to phone sex, but they’re not a necessity.
Don’t feel self-conscious if you’re partner doesn’t want to participate in masturbating with you.
If you’d rather not pleasure yourself alone, ask your partner if they’d like to join you. If they want to masturbate and you don’t, you don’t have to, either. Sit back and take in their self-pleasuring experience.
Don't be concerned if neither one of you climaxes. The act of trying to orgasm is more fun than the achievement of one.
If you climax before your partner finishes, don’t stop talking! Keep saying the things that get them hot – discuss what you’re thinking about and feeling.
Completion
It’s up to you when to stop. There’s no rule that says you need to wait for a climax, or stop because you’re both reached orgasm.
Some couples tend to hang up when their breathing has become more calm. Others stay on the line for a while chatting with their partners as they normally would. When you end the call is up to you.
Before you end the call, tell your partner how much you enjoyed the phone sex session.
